"UPC" Photoshoot!
12.15.2006

First off, I just have to say that we went to Alabama. It was totally unintentional and lasted for only seven minutes or so, but still! I'd never been there before, so it was kind of a big deal for me. I'm one of those people that will buy a burger at an airport McDonalds on a one-hour layover just because I'm in Austin and I want a receipt to prove it. It's silly that something dictated by invisible lines in the dirt should have such a profound effect of me, but it does. So that's why I got this shot of a sticker shaped like Alabama on a gas station pump. Incidentally, the gas station was on the same lot as a fireworks shop. Uh, alrighty.

Well as I mentioned, our quick visit to Alabama was totally unplanned. I accidentally missed the turn-off to highway 185 from 85, slipping right accross the state line. Sadly, that wasn't the only mistake of the day. Somehow I actually managed to forget the shirts and had to turn back. Next, I forgot the directions, but fortunately we were able to get them at Nico's place (the hoodie-d one). Still, apparently it wasn't enough.

Anyhow, I lost all kinds of valuable time being forgetful and as a result we completely missed going on the actual safari, which was really BAD NEWS after driving 97.05 miles. But no padlocks were going to stop us at this point, so we piled out in our matching zebra shirts and pleaded with the few remaining employees to let us in.

The conversation when a little like this:
Employee: Sorry guys, park closed at 4:30, you're too late.
Brandon: But we came all the way from Georgia!
Employee: This is Georgia...
Brandon: Barely!
Employee: I'm sorry, the gates are locked.
Brandon: Don't you all have keys?
Employee: No. The monkeys... stole them. Go home guys. I'm sorry, but I can't let you in.
Brandon: Now wait a minute sir, let me explain: see our shirts? Well, we are (suddenly erupting into song) ZEBRA FREEEEAKS. We love zebras. Love em! Everything we own pretty much is only black and white.
Employee: Uh...
Brandon: You see your little fleet of vans? Pathetic! The rainbow brigade!
Employee: Ok, what is it that you want? An application?
Brandon: No. We want to buy a zebra.
Employee: We don't deal animals! This isn't a PET SHOP. And you drove here in a Camry...
Brandon: I could ride it back, you know, break it in and all.
Employee: Absolutely not!
Brandon: Well ok. Can we just see some though?
Employee: ...
Brandon: C'mon man...from one Georgian to another...
Employee: But-
Brandon: Look, let's put our differences aside for a moment. So we like zebras, you probably don't-I see you're wearing many colors. But we've been traveling for... days, I think. We got lost in Alabama, even. Can you imagine filling up with unleaded on the same grounds as untold amounts of gunpowder? Please realize that the path to this point has been treacherous and awful, and this cruel penalty for our tardiness is only compounding the tragic pain of our crushed dreams.


Yeah, there was some minor dramatization in there, but I'm standing behind the "crushed dreams" part as being the kicker for us finally seeing some zebra action. Although they wouldn't fetch the key, they agreed to dispatch a park attendant that stood with us at the main entrance "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP"ing. In just minutes there were a flood of creatures washing over the hills at us, including half a dozen zebras!

So in the end it turned out ok. Sure, it wasn't the image I had in my head of us riding the backs of majestic zebras through a bamboo jungle with barcode scanners in our hands, but the vans sufficed. And hey, we didn't pay a dime for admission and probably saw more than any other visitors that day.

Now doesn't all that effort just build your appreciation for this shirt to the point of making a purchase?

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posted by Mr. Linty @ 11:10 PM,

3 Comments:

At 11:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well sir, you have the memory of an Elephant! Too bad we didn't see any of them on the trip... although there was that... oh never mind. But in all seriousness and honesty, that conversation was EXACTLY how it occured. That Pseudo-Georgian showed us a lack of Southern hospitality and we didn't back down! Free your minds!!! Ch-ch-ch-chhhhh... Love the people!!! Ch-ch-ch-chhhh... Release the love en-er-geeeee...!!!

 
At 2:15 PM, Blogger Mr. Linty said...

Haha. I wonder if they even have elephants? I'd like to check that place out again someday, it seems like it'd actually be a lot of fun...

 
At 3:24 PM, Blogger Matt said...

That shoot looked like so much fun. Man I wish I would have gone!!!

 

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